There’s a lot of talk about a newly termed phenomena, “sleep divorce,” used to describe couples who choose to sleep in different beds.
Interesting choice of words to describe it, isn’t it? One could infer that a decision to sleep separately is a negative thing, similar to the stigma associated with true marital divorce, but quite the contrary! “Sleep divorce” can do wonders for a relationship, and could actually assist in preventing the breakup that bears it’s name.
Rest is reduces stress: Sleeping in separate rooms does not necessarily mean that you have a troubled relationship! In fact, sleeping separately can actually improve it. It’s a great idea to sleep in separate bedrooms if one of the partners or both are not getting a good night sleep. I know if I get a good night sleep, I function at maximum capacity at work, which makes me feel like I’m attending to my personal goals. This allows me to bring that positivity back to my home, husband, and daughter and avoid bringing that stress home with me.
“Absence makes the heart…” You know how the saying goes. They also say familiarity breeds contempt, and although sleeping next to your spouse may not engender contempt, it sometimes kills the desire to be intimate as often because the person is always in one another’s presence. Sleeping in separate beds can encourage the bedroom to be used for efforts beyond sleeping! Try it for a month and watch your intimacy increase!
Keep you personality in your own space: Our bedrooms are vastly different in mood. He has computers, TV, and phones, and lots of stuff in his room. I sleep better without screens in my room, and with a room that feels relaxing and different from the rest of the house. I like calming colors on the walls and no work stuff in the room. By having separate bedrooms, we have space for ourselves and our own identity. We allow ourselves to have a quiet haven, which makes the rest of the space we share in the house a more mutual and affirming environment for us to feel connected.
Love in the afternoon: Our busy lives leave us exhausted by the end of the day, and sleep is incredibly important. Leave lovemaking for when you have energy! Use the bedroom for daytime lovemaking for a change, so sleeping in separate bedrooms at night won’t make you feel like a lack of intimacy is a problem in your life. If this sounds like a groundbreaking idea, then you’ve forgotten the spontaneity of young love! This is a great way to rekindle that.
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