Can I have “it all?”

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Do you know anyone that you’ve met in your life who’s ever had "it all?" You do? Well, you don’t know that person as well as you may think!

Guess what? It’s the question that’s making us unhappy.

Have you ever asked yourself what “it all” is? The quickest definition to most folks includes:


  • An upwardly mobile, well-paying job that I like that doesn’t require work long hours, provides minimal stress and lots of vacation time
  • A husband/wife who loves me and is in love with me
  • A great sex life
  • Healthy children (statistically, two and a half of them)
  • A nice house
  • A nice car (with good gas mileage!)
  • Great friends
  • Good health and a fit body
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That’s not so much to ask for, right? Well, let me respond to that questions with another question: Do you know anyone that you’ve met in your life who’s ever had all of these things at once? You do? Well, you don’t know that person as well as you may think!

Doing something well takes a lot of time and attention, and doing something great takes almost all of your time. So when people strive for “it all,” they are asking something of themselves that is impossible to achieve, and the natural consequence inevitable results in disappointment, bitterness, and a constant comparison to others.

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I am not proposing to try less often to be the best you you can be, but demand less out of Life. Don’t ask the impossible out of it. Life only gives you so much time in the day, and only so many years to live, so not matter how hard you try, Life will always let you down, and you’ll want to blame life for getting in the way of “it all.”

You notice I capitalize “Life” in the paragraph above? We often consider Life a character in our lives, don’t we? Isn’t Life the person we scream at when we’re met with traffic in the morning when we’re late to work? Isn’t Life responsible for you pinching your finger when you’re installing the car seat? Isn’t Life responsible for how hard it is to find a new job? Isn’t Life responsible for…?

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Life is very much like any person you meet on a daily basis—it generally means well, has some flaws that need to be worked on, and tries its best. So give it a break, will ya! Life isn’t out to get you! The two of your are more similar than you think and both of you have your best intentions in mind.

So next time, before you ask Life for “it all,” ask yourself, “What have I done for Life lately?”


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